Fashion in Song – Pants, by Veggietales (2001)

This 2001 children’s silly song tells the tale of online shopping…

Welcome viewers, what comes next?
A pair of pants with stripes or checks
Dig in your wallet, dump out your purse
Who’ll be the one to buy the first…pair…?

You can wear ’em if you’re big
You can wear ’em if you’re small
They’re pants if you’re short
And shorts if you’re tall
You can wear ’em in the spring
You can wear ’em in the fall
They’re pants if you’re short
And shorts if you’re tall

Sold 5 so far, we’re down to twenty
Look what you get For a little bit of money
Down to your feet and up to your tummy

PAAAAAANTS….

If you buy right now, tonight
We’ll throw you a set of Ginsu Knives
A pair of pants could change your life
One easy payment, $9.95

See the tag on the back, one size fits all
They’re pants if you’re short
And shorts if you’re tall
You can wear ’em to the farm
You can wear ’em to the mall
They’re pants if you’re short
And shorts if you’re tall

Sixteen more, we’re down to four!
You can’t buy these in any store
They’re just like your granddaddy wore

PAAAAAANTS….

Pants have six legs, less than a squid
It’s a verb for a dog
And a noun for a kid
With a pair of pants, you’re not alone
You can dance with your pants ’till the cows come home

This pair of pants will win your heart
We accept most credit cards
A stretchy waist, elastic band
Make these your “buffet eatin’ pants”!
Trousers, slacks, or corduroys
Pants bestow a special joy

As seen on the screen of your TV
These pants can hide unsightly knees
This pair is made with high grade vinyl
Don’t hesitate, all sales are final
To summarize, you might recall
They’re pants if you’re short and shorts if you’re TAALLLLLL

4, 3, 2, 1
Going, Going, Going, Gone
We’re outta pants, we gotta run!

About Jonathan

Jonathan Walford is a fashion historian and co-founder of the Fashion History Museum in Cambridge, Ontario. The FHM maintains a collection of nearly 12,000 artifacts dating from the mid 17th century to the present. Jonathan has authored various books and museum catalogues, including The Seductive Shoe, Shoes A-Z, Forties Fashion, 1950s American Fashion, and Sixties Fashion.

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